My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
