I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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