Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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