I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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