you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize