Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
