i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
