I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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