Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
