I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
