In the future we'll all be gay
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
