did you get engaged???
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
