Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
