why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
