It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
