overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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