Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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