Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
