Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
being pregnant is like rehab
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
