hotel room ftw
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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