To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize