Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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