just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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