this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
