he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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