Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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