his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
