Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
