I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
