i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
