Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm like, not good at living.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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