This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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