too bad you live with your parents still
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
