at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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