im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
