It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
