____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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