So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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