Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i love accidental penises.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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