I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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