So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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