They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
