im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Oh god it's open bar.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
