she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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