i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
