i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Im part way to drunk.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
