Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
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