Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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