The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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