These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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