either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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