my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
