We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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