I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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