I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
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