but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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