when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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