I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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